I felt so sad today when you told me not to shout so loud.
I was excited because Grandma is coming tomorrow. And she brings that catalogue with the shiny stuff that you don’t like.
I love looking at it with her.
That’s why I was so excited!
I didn’t even realise I was shouting.
Then you said, “Can’t you be quiet? You’re driving me mad!”
In that moment I felt you didn’t want to be my mummy.
So I ran away and hid in my room.
I love you so much Mummy.
It was such fun last weekend when we went swimming. You were being so funny in the pool and I loved it when we played mummy dolphin and baby dolphin.
Then we stopped for fish and chips on the way home. It was the best.
It was so good watching a film together and all cuddling on the sofa.
Then you turned it off and said, “Right, time for bed!”
The way you said that, all of a sudden I felt you were a million miles away.
I was thinking “This is the end of the weekend and I have to go to school tomorrow and I won’t see Mummy all week.”
I know that sounds silly because I will see you of course.
But in the week you get so busy with work so even when you’re home I can tell that your mind’s on other things, Mummy.
That’s when I said “Please can we play Uno together?”
You said we’d watched the film and it was too late to play anything.
But I just so wanted to be with you, Mummy.
That’s why I got upset and begged you again and again to play Uno with me.
I don’t think you understood because you kept saying, “What’s the matter? Why are you making such a fuss? We’ve seen the film and now it’s time to go to bed, like we said. What’s the problem?”
I was crying because I wanted to be with you.
I just love it when we do things together.
I didn’t want our time together to be over.
That’s why, Mummy.
The next morning you were going to be working from home.
You always do on a Monday.
The things is when I’m at school and you’re at home I have this kind of ache in my heart because I want so much to be at home with you.
So I was just thinking about this and forgot about getting dressed.
When you came, you told me to stop dreaming.
I laughed because I wasn’t dreaming.
I was wide awake and thinking!
You said I was being naughty and that my behaviour was making you feel cross.
I ran off hoping you would chase me and we could have a bit of game together.
You ran after me and caught me. “You have to get ready!” you said.
You were scowling so I scowled too.
I don’t want to go to school,” I said, and stamped my foot.
“I know you don’t want to go to school,” you said, “but you have to. You can’t just play at home all the time. All children have to go to school so they can learn things. Also if children don’t go to school, parents get in trouble. You wouldn’t want me to get in trouble would you?”
I know all that Mummy because you’ve told me before.
The thing is I felt so lonely, Mummy, because you hadn’t understood about the ache in my heart.
You were looking straight at me but I didn’t feel you saw me, Mummy.
You held my arm quite tight, a bit like a policeman kind of tight.
I was worried that you didn’t love me any more because I’d done something really bad – but I wasn’t sure what it was.
I just wanted to be close to you again and for everything to be all right.
I hope it will be all right again on the weekend.
All my love from
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