Perhaps you’re wondering if you actually have the power to create the Christmas you want. You’d like to, but you feel Christmas is running you.
I believe you have more power to create the Christmas you want than you think you have.
And in this blog I’m going to walk you through a process that will support you to do just this.
What Might be Getting in the Way
Now, I don’t know what’s on your mind when you think about Christmas. It could be the endless to-do list, critical remarks from the wider family, all the travelling, children getting competitive over presents or just the general noise – the waste, hype and emphasis on material things.
And it’s true that there’s so much noise around Christmas that it can be difficult to tune into our wisdom. And it can almost feel like what we really want gets discounted. It doesn’t even have space. It may feel to you as if Christmas is happening to you.
Yet, even if there are aspects of your Christmas that are out of your hands, you CAN influence how Christmas turns out for you and your family this year. I believe you have wiggle room, you’re a player in this scene and you do have some, or even lot of, choice.
So for now, I invite you to:
- shelve all thoughts of to-do lists
- shift your focus away from what you don’t like – and probably can’t control
- create some space for what you do want.
Be the Christmas You Want to See.
I am a firm believer that our own attitudes directly and radically affect our children and the mood in our families. Time and time again, I see how parents get what they focus on.
So, this Christmas, I invite you to make room for what’s important for you. I invite you to be the Christmas you want to see.
Find ways to embody the qualities you find important. This way you get to set the tone.
The following process will help:
1) First of all, write down the qualities that are important for you to experience around Christmas. You can write a list – or just put words in random places on a sheet of paper.
You might choose things like: time, magic, peace, happiness, connection, relaxation… whatever’s important for YOU.
2) Circle the three qualities that feel most significant to you.
3) Take one of those three and ask yourself how you could allow yourself to experience this quality in the days going up to Christmas and on Christmas itself.
Whatever quality you have chosen, remember you have it already inside of you, otherwise you wouldn’t have chosen it. So all you need to do is to make space for it.
How you’re going to do this may not be obvious straightaway.
But I invite you to hold that question: What will allow you now, today, this week or at Christmas itself to experience what you want to experience and you want your children to experience this year?
For example, how could you bring more connection into your life? What would enable you to embody peace? How could you experience more of a sense of having time?
Small things may come to mind. Perhaps a conversation, a meditation, a phone call, lighting a candle, an activity… you get to choose.
Or big things. One of my clients has booked a quiet retreat for a whole day sometime in December. A whole day of quiet retreat. She’s made her feelings of peacefulness really important, important enough to step out of her family for a whole day.
You may not be able to or want do something like this and that’s fine – it’s just one way of creating space. What you do can be very small and simple too, taking no more than a split second.
Here’s a little story to illustrate how the quality you’ve chosen can come into your life as if by grace, just by choosing it and making it important:
As I was doing this process for myself, one of the qualities I chose was “authenticity”. I was wondering: “How am I going to actually create space for “authenticity” between now and Christmas?
At that moment, in popped my son, mid-homework. I looked over my shoulder, there he was leaning on the back of the sofa, looking at me. I found myself thinking, “Mmm, not sure if this is the right moment for a chat. I want to get these thoughts clear and down on paper.”
Then I remembered the quality – “authenticity”. I brought it to mind – and opened my heart to connect with him – authentically. In that moment, he kind of dissolved in the most beautiful way. Everything softened and he just said, “Oh, I just love you so much, Mummy.” It was an amazing moment of authentic connection.
So hold your questions – and answers will come.
Dare to Take Action
And my request is, when the answers come, dare to make space for them.
One client wanted simplicity.
She dreamt of a simpler Advent time, without the chocolates and the sweets of previous years. However she had been worried that her older children would make a fuss, and not want things to be different – and these concerns we’re getting in the way. But as we talked she got very clear in herself about what she wanted for her children. Afterward, she just told them how things were going to be this year and briefly explained why. They accepted what she said without complaint and they are enjoying the most peaceful Advent they’ve ever had, with calendars that have pictures only.
You too can make little changes like this.
And create a Christmas that YOU WANT.
As these example show, everyone benefits when you make space for what’s important for you.
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