About Me

I am lucky enough to be living my dream of helping parents like you solve behaviour problems, so you can live your dream of a happy family.

Why do I do this work?

It all started with my Irish Aunty Bunty, a fountain of love and tea.

“Come in! Come in!”

Her farmhouse table is piled high with china teacups, cake and scones.

As we children chatter, she smiles.

Her smile is my safe harbour. I feel bubbles of excitement:

It’s ok to be me, after all.

I make a decision about my life:

Oona Alexander

 

I will be kind like her, and go around creating safe harbours so everyone can feel:

It’s ok to be me.

 

At home in London, it’s not always ok to be me.

I’m three, eating fish fingers and peas. My father is standing in his suit and tie, reading my mother’s letter to me. “Grandma and Grandpa send their love.” The cold green peas roll round the plate. I feel my insides draining down, down through my tummy. 

Mummy-ache.

Mummy and Daddy, amused, tell me: “You were a mistake… Mummy was furious when she found out she was pregnant with you.”

I try do my best to make up for past events. 

I make sure my legs are always firmly together, as my mother has shown me. 

I try to look pretty, sucking in my round cheeks in the mirror. 

I try to be quiet, but not too quiet, or I’m mumbling and that’s not good.

Crying, because I'm going back to boarding school later, I'm told off for being like Grandma, who was mentally ill and spent her life worrying instead of enjoying herself.

I do well at school and I get my 2:1 from Oxford. Friends go off to their jobs in publishing and media.

 

My kindness project starts. 

 

Oona Alexander

I’m kind to children, first caring for them, then teaching maths and English, then telling them stories.

Joy of joys, I have my own child. Acres of room to practice kindness. 

I don't always get it right. My son hits me with his building planks, and I lose it, throwing the planks out of the back door.

I haven’t quite mastered kindness yet. 

I meet wise women whose understanding of kindness makes every cell in my body flip. 

I sit studiously with them in various European capitals, my ears like jug handles.

 

 

What if parents round the world knew THIS?

 

 

Oona Alexander

 

I lead groups for more than a decade - inspired by the wise women - practising kindness with hundreds of families.

At home I’m changing, too.

Kinder.

We have happy school runs, mealtimes, bedtimes… hugs and laughter… he tells me everything.

I am the mum I want to be.

 

 

On the journey to kindness, I become the one who is curious about what a three year old with mummy-ache is really feeling.

 

I develop laser vision for why a six year old out of the blue lashes out at his sister.

I understand how to help a nine year old who’s scared of being snatched in the night.

I help parents be the ones who dare to reach into their children’s souls and wrap them in words that hold them, while allowing the ache, rage or fear to be there.

I listen to my own pain, too. I wrap my arms kindly around myself, giving old wounds space, time and attention. 

Until they aren't there any more.

I have become my own safe harbour and I know: it’s ok to be me.

“There’s something magical about you. I’m unlocking things from inside.”
Sally Mesner-Lyons, London

I want to live in a world where all parents feel “It’s ok to be me”.

 

Imagine no longer lying awake at night, worrying about how it went with the children.

Imagine no longer saying to yourself “You're no good at this. This shouldn’t be happening.”

Imagine instead enjoying each moment with your children.

Feeling comfortable at the school gates.

And being in your body, where your children are - playful, light, happy and accepting.

...........................


I want to live in a world where all children feel “It’s ok to be me”.


They feel:

“Whatever I do, I feel loved. Whatever my parents say, I feel their love. We have fun together. Even when they say ‘No’, I feel loved. They understand me. So I know it’s ok to me me.”

………………………….

 

Imagine for a moment:

A world where all parents and all children feel: “It’s ok to be me.”

Because they’ve discovered the power of kindness. 

I want that world.

You and your children being who you truly are.

And knowing:

It’s ok to be me. 

 

Do you want this world too?

Would you like to find out what the power of kindness could do for your family?

My free guide will show you, step by step.

So that you too can experience the magic of a happy, connected family.

 

Fill in this form and my guide, Solve the Struggle with Your Kids, will be with you in seconds.

Solve the Struggle with Your Kids

Discover the 6 wise and loving parenting powers you need to have a happy, loving family.

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The Official Bit:

  • 25 years guiding hundreds of families as a class teacher, family-learning leader, storyteller, parent-and-child-group leader and parenting mentor;
  • Pikler expert;
  • Parent educator: the Nurturing Programme;
  • Certified Clear Beliefs Coach;
  • Early Years Professional Status: Postgraduate qualification;
  • Co-founder of the Pikler UK Association;
  • BA Oxford University;
  • Diploma in Waldorf/Steiner Education.